The Little Things, In My Heart

2010-08-01T00:45:00.002+08:00

I'm going hong kong soon. I'm feeling so empty.

Why? Period.

I hate weekends.

I hate being ignored.

Screw you.

2009-09-28T00:37:00.000+08:00

Happy advanced birthday to me.
Its going to be my 21st birthday. As usual, I'm not going to hold any party nor celebrate it..

Hold a bbq my dad said.
I told him, you know I don't like celebrating my birthday without mum around.. and I don't need any present.

What is the meaning of being 21 years old?

2009-09-21T04:22:00.003+08:00

My brother skip school just to have this meal with me, I guess I really need to spend more time in bangkok.

just when I thought things are going to get better...

And then new problem arises.

When can life ever be smooth sailing?

2009-09-18T02:03:00.001+08:00

the photos of my mum and brother still make me tears..

2009-09-18T00:29:00.002+08:00

a Vietnam wife who is not working.
and
a daughter.

and he is earning only 1.8k

he steals his boss's money once, when confronted, that day was his birthday.

he asked for pay raise after probation, HR department told him his performance is not up to expectation, he is to leave the company.

he was seen crying the other day by another staff.

sometimes, in life, even the person you hate most make you feel sad.

i dont like to see suffering.

2009-09-13T03:49:00.000+08:00

dont cry over things that are not yours.

for they are never meant to be yours.

why even try, when you know there's no ending.

much less, nothing to begin with.

humble i shall stay, contented i shall be.

:))

2009-08-25T15:12:00.000+08:00

It’s never a good idea to know that life is treating you unfairly all the time.

Why people like to compare things in their life?

One thing which I hated the most: disrespectful to parents. Especially to Mum.

I overheard a conversation the other day: ‘I want to study, why you don’t have money for me to study? Why am I born into this poor family? Now I am finding alternatives for you to support my studies you don’t ask so much about the education loan interest.”

The reason for him reacting this way?

Because his mum scolded him for being stupid. And not being able to go to a local university.

I hated him right away. He have no rights to scold his Mum.

~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am gettting more and more disappointed at the male species.

2009-08-24T10:19:00.000+08:00

2009-08-08T13:29:00.000+08:00

i feel like deleting away my blog.

feeling like crap. flu and sore throat.
hopefully fever will come soon.
then i will be suspected of having H1N1

then i will be in hospital.
then people will care more about me and not taking me for granted.

life is precious.
life is about love.
life is about friendships.
life is about relationships.

Its about happiness.
Are you feeling happy recently?

2009-07-22T12:02:00.002+08:00

I am getting sick of people around me.
These include some of the people whom, I used to be very closed with.
Sometimes, like what Jocelyn have mentioned the other day, "为什么会演戏的人，常常在别人的眼里是个好人。。。"

And I always fail to see the other side of humans, especially the evil side of them.
People make use of you when they know are you are nice and sincere.

You will not know about it until something bad happened, and when it finally dawn upon you, people laugh at you as the biggest fool who got cheated out of money/trust/friendship/feelings.

I hate to confront people, because I hate the excuses they can come up with and the stupid pitiful look they give. You will tell you story like they are the victim instead and paint such a pitiful picture of him/her.

Confrontation also means giving the person another chance.
Yes, I may not be right about that person and I ought to hear him/her out, but enough is enough.
This doesn’t happen just once or twice. Blame me for being so ignorant then.

I know I am so inexperience with life, so many bad people around.
But I want to still believe that there are nice people around.

2009-07-09T18:14:00.005+08:00

I want to so curse at someone now.

Bbs refuse to pay my SALARY unless i sign some nonsense agreement with them to not disclose anything about the school.

KNN.

To think of myself slogging so hard for them and now they refuses to pay me, is really KNN. Just because I resigned? Or are there any other reasons that you refuse to pay me?

This is really unfair.

2009-06-29T15:00:00.002+08:00

resigned from work, even before the news broke out regarding the RMIT fraud.
being accused for feeding information to SAS to bring BBS down.
being accused for asking student to quit BBS.

i am so disappointed to hear all these. damn disappointed.

i just hope you all the best. and to the staffs.
i am a person with integrity.

2009-06-15T01:17:00.004+08:00

nicholas wore my sunglass and pretended to be a blind man..

I'm lying down on my bed now. Thinking of issues that had happened to me the past week. And if I could turn back the time, I'll want to change some of the things I said/did/reacted.

some things are not meant to be. and human we are, we bear grudges. If only, we can have a bigger heart to understand people and put ourselves in their shoe.

2009-06-14T02:09:00.005+08:00

so the story goes..

Girl A is going out with Boy A one day..
It was just a simple dinner to get to know each other more.
Girl A felt so nervous.. Whats the intention she ask me.
If boy A isn't interested, would he even want to ask girl A out for dinner? I asked her.
Girl A told me she felt intimidated by boy A because he is so much older than her, and he is someone whom she has always respected and look upon to so it is difficult on her to be comfortable with boy A.

I told her this isnt her first time dating older guy, so to try to be herself if not she cant enjoy the evening.

HAHA. Joker la you. A dinner date and you cant even handle it well. How to have a boyfriend?

And because girl A was so quiet the whole evening, the conversation was being lead by boy A who didnt talk about things that girl A want to talk about: personal life.

Boy A must have thought girl A is boring she said.
And i told her, i thought so too. Haha..

2009-06-13T13:52:00.000+08:00

HOT DATE. HAHA!

2009-06-09T02:52:00.000+08:00

I felt like a big stone is off my chest.

2009-06-08T01:22:00.000+08:00

dread.

2009-06-07T04:35:00.002+08:00

suddenly, I so feel like having a family of my own now.

A husband, few kids and a dog.
A happy family.
So I won't be so lonely.

What am I thinking about??? Haha.
Dream on.

Its sunday, dread monday. Sigh..

2009-06-01T01:26:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling not too good.
I'm feeling not too happy.
I'm not sure why.
I have a feeling that tomorrow going to be hell for me at work.

Everybody is leaving one by one.
Its hard not to get affected by it.

2009-05-27T18:36:00.001+08:00

Left4dead!..

I'm hooked.

2009-05-26T11:05:00.002+08:00

How would you feel if you were to see a photo, on a guy that you like, hugging another women. No, i dont mean woman but women.

A thought for all the women out there. :)
God made women, being the sensitive creature for a purpose.

2009-05-25T02:29:00.002+08:00

I have this humongeous ucler at the tip of my tongue.

I have a cut on the bridge on my nose.
Because a bottle flew out my hand and it hit my nose before it fell beside my bathtub.

What a beautiful Sunday.
And yes, sleeping problem again. :(

2009-05-24T05:49:00.002+08:00

Why do all good things come to an end?
I dont wish to do this but...

I dont understand why am i feeling this way as well.

I'm so sleepy, yet i cant get to sleep. I'm thinking of you.

2009-04-23T18:10:00.002+08:00

Just came back from Thailand and today i am down with dont know what sickness. Home sick? That made my tummy so uncomfortable? Or its last night dinner that is playing the trick on me?

Slept till 4pm and woke up with a bad headache. And as usual when i am not around, I'll call up the office and ask if everything is okay. Going to have dinner at home later and uncle will be fetching me to the doctor. Ah, i am feeling like crap.

Oh and i got my PR. Hmmmm, not exactly that happy i dont know why but a relive that i got it somehow. I am unsure what is next in life, and when the thing i really wanted came to me i am all lost. Hope to really have a business of my own, maybe continue the family business for my mum? Market Bee products? Or even selling of dessert? I hate office job, i hate routines, because that makes a person draw a fixed salary. Every single month.

Thailand.
Why human cry when they are emotional? Why some people are so good in controlling their tears while others just cant and wept away. The feeling get intense when i walked into the Thai airport immigration to get my passport stamped, my tears rolled down uncontrollably while queuing up there. I dare not look at my Mum who is standing behind the stained glass of the immigration area because i know its going to be many months or even up to a year before i can see her again. The warmth of my Mum/home, can never be felt here at Singapore.

I felt so silly to still cry at this age.
I think i resemble Mum alot.

2009-02-15T23:23:00.002+08:00

how is it like to lock yourself in your own world?

how is it like to know that you are all alone afterall?

how is it like to feel abandon?

how is it like to feel that you made a mistake?

how is it like to know that things can never be the same anymore?

how is it like to feel all the above?

empty.

2009-01-25T03:11:00.002+08:00

life is but a sigh.

'li juan is a cheerful and happy-go-lucky person'

'li juan is a pretty and sporty girl'

'li juan is very friendly girl who is good in science'

'li juan is a very encouraging girl, a very sincere friend'

Those are the comments that my primary school classmates wrote about me.
It is on a piece of heart-shaped green colour paper.
Our form teacher forced everyone in the class to write something for one another before we graduate from primary school.

I was very happy to recieve the compliments from them. Hardly anybody praise me.
As i grow older, all i hear from the adults were:

'you are a disappointment to me'
'you are a disappointment to me'

even up to till now.

I wish i could take away the mask i wear everyday, to really smile. What is the equation of being happy, to attain happiness? Why am i being forced to grow up faster than everyone elses? Why the pressure is on me to earn money is on the basic survival.

people just dont understand why i strive so hard in life.
if you are in my shoe, would you allow people to point finger at you and say ' li juan you are damn useless in the family'
or would you rather prove them wrong.

enlighten me, before you sentence me 'death sentence'

2009-01-22T01:25:00.002+08:00

((:

Very sleepy!

BUT.

Feel like saying hello to those who reads my blog or even to those who are checking me out in the dark through my blog.

To the good friends - i am doing good! but damn busy with work. I hope you understand, but you know i am a person who play hard too. SO, be patience! we'll catch up soon!

To the hmmm, bad people out there, or whoever like to spin tales about me, kapo about my life - i am doing very good! i think even better than you! ((: and one more thing! dont look down on me or despise me anymore, because i am doing good! i think i will be happier and or even richer than you someday. ((:

Happy Chinese New Year!

2009-01-11T18:28:00.002+08:00

2 good news.

1) PR - Boss signed my paper, give the green light to apply! awaiting interview date which is approaching soon. After which, have to wait for ICA to process for another 3 months. knn, but hope all goes well.

2) Pay Increment - My big boss talked to me. And indeed, pay is such a sensitive issue when you get to know how much another colleague is getting versus the amount of responsibility he/she have and the lack of initiative at the workplace.
I dont demand figure from you i told my boss, you pay me the amount you think i am worth. And he joked, $50 increment. If he mean it, i take it. Haha. Its not that i dont have other job waiting for me. You must be thinking, i must be mad not to request an amount. I have my reasons. (:

All is going well. I am no saint nor angel, but i hope i can help someone to tide through this. I know my rewards will be far more better next time.

2009-01-06T00:13:00.002+08:00

Hmmmmm.
somebody walked pass me pretending i do not exists.

and i pretend too.

If only...

2008-12-24T03:28:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2008-12-22T23:53:00.002+08:00

"to err is human, to forgive divine"

oh well.

lets see.

read between the lines.

dont get it?

then dont bother at all. ((:

2008-12-14T00:41:00.002+08:00

ahhh no money ah.
christmas coming ah.
no money ah. how ar? shit.

you spend your life working. to earn that piece of paycheck.
and that paycheck? fucking always too little.
some people might not be contented. because they cant buy the things they need or want.
so simply put, because they cant live the life they wanted to.

My goal, first thing first. Is to be able to care for my Mummy and allow her to retire.
Yes. Live off her daugther. Its time to enjoy life mum.
BUT.
My mum to retire means brother would fall under my care as well.
So brother better already started working then.

After which, i would then plan for my own future. House of my own, Marriage, own family will follow.

I want my PR. Still the same old thing in my head. Will update again if EVER i managed to get a PR.

Dominic asked me, whats the use of being a PR here in Singapore?
I paused. And thought for a moment. Ya, why huh?
Then, TMD, of cause a status la. I lived here since young dont get PR go back Thailand be tourist huh? My Thai also cannot make it one, so embarrassed to tell people i am from Thailand also.

Another thing. I hate it when i have to make a choice. yes yes, fuck you life.

2008-12-12T20:54:00.001+08:00

am feeling helpless.

and not feeling my best.

screw you who spoil my friday.

2008-11-29T01:07:00.002+08:00

i hate it when people intrude your life privacy.

and yes, that is why people chose to set their blog to private.
I do not do that, because i trust the person who read my blog are mature enough.

BECAUSE THERE ARE DAMN PEOPLE LIKE YOU, WHO BLOODY AREN'T SENSIBLE ENOUGH TO RESPECT PEOPLE'S LIFE.

Someone said that i smoke. HAHA. I smoke.
Just beacuse i said i tried smoking and seen posing with cigarette?
Why dont you say i am a racer since i pose with bike too? knn.

I dont do that to you and i dont go round telling people about what i saw and what i know about you and him or you and her, whoever she or he reading.
You ought to do the same.

because you are much older and sensible than me. 'SUPPOSE'.

2008-11-13T01:08:00.002+08:00

I really need a break.

getting really frustrated.

humans. Can i sigh at you?

SIGH.

WHAT IS LIFE??

Cant it be simpler? i hate mind games.

2008-11-08T11:59:00.002+08:00

Went Bowling last night with Wilson and his gang.

HAHA.

And we sucks at it.

Still, we had fun laughing over it. (:

No pictures taken ): Phone battery went flat on the pretty owner.

2008-11-07T02:28:00.004+08:00

Good morning! (:

Reached home not long ago. Just finished bathing, eating and watched my Korea drama.

Been working till 12am for the past 2days. Too many unfinished task, and too many disturbances.

After reading Claire's blog, i realised how i have forgotten my goal in life AGAIN.
Yes, to build contacts and to build our network of suitable prospects.

BUT.

I am nowhere near the goal of my life. Yet.
I am not going to slog the whole of my life.

I wish this job will be the first official job that i got, and the last job that i ever work.

After which, its time to work for myself.

You cannot imagine how tough it is for me. Sometimes people got to learn it the hard way i guess. I could have easily study hard for my Os, and get into a polytechnic and could save so much of troubles now.
By now i guess I'd receive letter by the government an offer to be a Singapore Permanent Residence here. Rather than holding on to an S pass now, and constantly being so pressurised to perform.
I need this job to survive, yes. For now.

I need to be rich.
I need the time of the world.
I need the best in everything in life.

Because i want the best for my loves one.
And especially to those who looked down on my family.

2008-10-30T01:45:00.002+08:00

I wish i have the time to sit down and go through/reflect on my life happenings everyday.

There are always something to learn at the end of the day.

Time does not permits me to blog it out.

I am too caught up with work.
Friends asked me, you slogged so hard, what do you get in returns?
You forsake your social life for work. You forsake your friends for work. You forsake your family for work.

I would like to know what i can get in returns too.
I dont work hard.

I commit myself to my work.
There's a great different there.
Please take note. (:

Good night.

2008-10-25T10:54:00.002+08:00

Love.
Love keeps you going.
Love makes you gay.
Love is life.

Still remember when you were a kid back then and you had a teeny weeny crush on this guy/girl in your school?

I still remember that guy in my primary school, and of cause i remember that feeling too.
And also a big crush on my science teacher back in secondary school.
And boy, when i look back now, i feel so silly.

Butterflies in stomach. Silly smiles.

You guys were friend. Nothing more. But a special feeling grew, but it stop there.

Stop. (:

An infatuation which will defintely fade. And it did.

What is crush?
You cant choose your crushes and sometimes it sneaks up on you. Woah, who was that?
Its abit like the romantic love grown up feels towards each other, abit like that.
And it is exciting. HAHA.

I wonder how does it feel like to have a crush again at this age.
Do you wonder too? (:

2008-10-14T02:07:00.010+08:00

Birthday.

As usual, people ask me ' li juan, how old are you this year?'

Me: ' i am 15, turning 16, every year!'

Ok, just stop asking how old am i. I dont like people to know. (:
I dont celebrate birthdays. And of cause no cake for very long time till this year.

Present, i dont expect present as well. Birthday is just a birthday to me.

I feel proud that mum gave birth to me, she love me.

Guess Watch by my 'gugu and family'

HAHA, by Joseph from my office.

By Wilson. Thanks honey.

Most expensive of all, mui mui clutch bag. By my colleagues.

Last weekend, went to mount Faber.

And this place reminds me of Mum.

Wilson brought Mum and little brother here the other time they were here.

Updates for the weekend.

Sat, Worked. Nothing much. Went to have supper with Wilson and his friends.

And this bugger fell asleep right after he finished his food.

Sunday. Went to East Coast Park after mass.

Cycling Day! Nice Weather too.

Our Rented bicycle.

Rest. After we Cycled for 1hour.

Good Night!

WORK WORK.

Its a matter of opportunity, and i believe in putting my best in whatever i do.

I know i will be successful. Someone told me i can do it and i believed him.

Because i have faith. (:

2008-10-04T03:03:00.002+08:00

one bloodly bugger china student pissed me off today.

'you are just a service staff here' he said to me.

fine.

i am just a service staff who needs to beg you to give me your handsome passport sized photo
and
to ask you to remember to attend class.

and you came down to school just to hear me say the word 'sorry'
because
i was so rude over the phone when you turned nasty.

you are the king because you paid for the school fee
and
i dont have the right to ask you for student pass and your handsome photo.

just what do u want to show?
you told me you rushed down from the north to the school,
just because of me?
i said thank you, you are so efficient to you because i told you to give them on monday instead.

i wasnt being sarcastic.

you are being petty.
why am i so upset then?
because i am just a service staff.

2008-09-30T21:55:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! ((:

THANK YOU GUYS!

ESP BERLINDA WHO PLANNED ALL THIS!

LOVES!

MIU MIU!

2008-09-25T01:44:00.002+08:00

Thought of having a quick update while waiting for my masque to dry up.

1) Dad was discharged from hospital late last week. But he is uncontactable up till now.
2) Been working till midnight since last week too. Alot Alot of things to do, as my department is under going revamping.
3) Too little time for myself

And one more thing, i wonder why, especially woman like to gossip about things that are untrue. I wont deny that i gossip too, but i wont add salt and pepper into it to make it sound even juicer. I will just listen, and comment abit BUT i will only comment if i am close to that friend.

Really. That untrue rumour may even tarnish my image if it were really to spread. And, i cant confront that woman nor could I explain myself to the affected party. This is really so unfair to me. Well, I am just doing my work. I do not wish any misunderstanding to happen.

And i wont do boot licking nor do anything unfair to myself in exchange for a promotion/pay rise.
Its my ability that i want people to see.

Heard that? Miss China?

2008-09-13T16:24:00.002+08:00

daddy in hospital. Heart attack.

found there are blood clot at his brain and heart.

i am feeling so low so low.

this is happening too fast too soon.

i just lost interest in everything i do now.

2008-09-08T00:14:00.002+08:00

activities filled weekend.

work hard, and play hard as well.

never been so exhausted before, but i am happy!

Will update on my weekend when i have the time! (:

GOOD NIGHT! (:

2008-08-30T22:09:00.002+08:00

Damn boring.

Is my weekend suppose to be spend this way?

Shit.

2008-08-30T11:40:00.003+08:00

$300 Rent.
$200 Dad

$400 Transportation
$300 Food

$80 Hand phone
$100 Basic necessities
$??? Entertainment and Shopping

I am taking up class 2b now as well too.

Oh wells. I am not going to grumble that i need a pay raise or life is unfair to me or what so ever.
I guess i am pretty much happy that i am in control of my own life now. And that i dont have to depend on anybody for financial support anymore.

Who at my age managed to achieve this? Not many. And who actually give allowance to parents? Only one of my close friend does. One.

I am pretty contented on the rate that i am going now though i secretly wished that i was born rich, have a very rich boyfriend so i dont have to strive on my own so much. But on the another hand, i thought to myself, even if i have a rich boyfriend, i would still strive to be financial independent.

Nothing beats the feeling of being in control of your own life.

I am sore that i still dont have the means to give my mum allowance yet. But, i hope 2 to 3 years time, i would be able to do it.

I was thinking back the days that made me a person i am now. Separated from parents since young because of studies.

Bad childhood memories.

Wasted childhood.

I can easily hate the person who gave me whole load of hell when i was young, but without the bad memories, i dont think i can be the person i am now.

I was often humiliated.
Often slapped/beat.
Often criticised.
Often deprived of love, care and concern.
Often treated as maid.
Often go to school with loads of bruises on my arm, face and leg.

I dont know how i survived all these. I think my faith keeps me going.

I dont know if my parents know all these. I guess they must be heartbroken if they knew thier daughter were being treated this way.

I kept quiet throughout my years of staying at that person place.

Until one day, i ran out of the house. And, that was when parents thought thier daughter was being beyond 'parental control'. They thought thier daughter was so so bad. Dad even wanted to send me back to bangkok. How nice i thought.

Till now i still cant bring myself to be nice to dad. I know he did alot of things for me. But he wronged me in many ways.

Can parents give me back my supposedly 'wonderful childhood'?

Haha. They cant. But i am happy that they still love me. I am still proud that i dont smoke, i dont sleep around, i dont do drugs and i dont live my life aimlessly.

Love keeps me going. I still believe there is fairy tale love story. Its my man, who keeps me going. Without my own happy family. I still have a happy relationship. (:

Praise the Lord. (:

*Claire, our Bangkok Trip! When When??

2008-08-24T02:17:00.010+08:00

I hope this post sums up the things that happened during the past few weeks.

Firstly, I sign up package for indoor tanning at fabulous tan. Because i have no time to go sentosa, though i have the membership there. And i love to have a tanned skin tone.

Ya, fake. But i dont care. The machine. I upgraded from the lying down tanning to the standing one. Laugh at me, but i have the thought that the glass of the lying down tanning booth will break. Too much of movie, watched Final Destination 3? Go figure.

Claire did the most funniest thing at work: HAHAHA!
She said: ' Berlinda have her own bin, Li Juan have her own bin. Ivan, this is give you!'
HAHA!

Before national day, I caught this during the rehearsal outside my workplace.

I will surely marry the guy who propose wedding to me this way. HEEE.

After the National day, just last friday. Caught this outside my workplace also, right after my dinner. They say, its the unfinished firework during national day. I thought what special occasion. Chey.

My Naughty Dog. See whats in his mouth. Shakes head. He is always bitting my rubber band, run and hide under the sofa. He thought i cant find him.

Good night!

2008-08-21T15:05:00.002+08:00

I have whole lots of things to post about but i didnt have the time to sit down and post about my life happenings.

And when i have some free time, i will just forget about the whole issue or i am just plain lazy to recall and post about it. Since it had already happened for quite some time.

Like, i am so occupied with work. I sleep my whole morning away as i work in the afternoon. And when weekend is here, i would spent the weekend with my big man.

I am going lunch now. Bye!

2008-08-19T13:52:00.009+08:00

HAHA!

Berlinda! You took off from work, but i am here to update you on the happening in office today!

You know Ivan's leg got injured after playing soccer few weeks back right?

That night, claire changed Ivan's MSN nick to, " still in pain, but leg itchy, still want to play soccer." Ivan took the whole night to realised that claire changed his MSN nickname.

So today, i feel a tad playful. Want to make fun of Ivan.

So i changed his nickname to "Actually, i like guys"

Claire told me to put an emo nick, something like " why you leave without a word last night? it hurts."

So i changed his msn nick, and i added in " i love you tom' and i even change his display picture to him acting cute with the mouth like goldfish.

HAHAHA!

i couldnt contain my emotion and i keep laughing!

But the funny part was that, Ivan doesnt know I change his nickname! He thought i only change his display picture.

Look at the conversation below!

HAHA. Couldnt stop laughing!

2008-08-19T10:31:00.003+08:00

Just enrol class 2B last night.

How should i tell my aunt about it?

And yar, finally i took a bus and mrt to work today. After 1 month of cabbing.

And i hate those squeezing. Really.

2008-08-12T00:53:00.003+08:00

Some interesting update.

Went to have lunch near work place yesterday. And we came upon the most expensive 'cai fan' ever.

Mine, 3 buck. For 2 vegetables and 1 sunny egg.

Berlinda's, 10 buck. For 1 vegetable, 1 sambal sotong and prawn. She sulked, cursed and swear while eating all the way. Haha.

We even wanted to gobble down the plate and utensils as well.

2008-08-12T00:25:00.004+08:00

Been a long time since i last hear this song, 'You are my all in all'

Always a fav song of mine to sing and praise the God.

Thanks God for taking care of me, my life and my love ones.

My S pass is being approved!

2008-08-08T01:37:00.005+08:00

Work related post!

Posing with my boss's new harley. He say this model, only 2 in Singapore.

Wa lao. why you so rich one. Lambo coming. Driving R8, GTR, Skyline and what else. So many cars for what.

He is trying to remove the stain from his bike, he covered the bike with a cloth when the bike is still hot. And the cloth melted on his metal pipe. HAHA.

Cute.

Work Place. When we switch off almost all the lights.

My Manager! Ivan Yeo Shi Yuan! (:

Good Night!

Clubbing on friday night with the ladies!

2008-08-06T11:21:00.002+08:00

wake up at 11am.

cab to work.

Late.

- busy - busy - busy - busy - busy -

Finished work at about 10 plus 11pm.

Go home.

Sleep.

Ya, repeat that for 30 days. I did just that.

And for the days to come.

I know why my money is drying up.

Why must they invent cab? When there are buses and MRT.

2008-07-29T23:26:00.004+08:00

Getting sick. Flu and cough.

My manager passed the virus to me.

And the office is super cold.

Last Sunday, went to leon's 2nd baby first month. Isnt she cute? With loads of hair. Haha

2008-07-23T23:25:00.001+08:00

could you look into my eyes?

and tell me that you are happy.

2008-07-21T00:08:00.000+08:00

To think back, i guess i have been working since back during school days.

Like, hey, i need some pocket money to survive. My allowance was only $50 per week years back, yes can you imagine that?

I am tired of living sometimes. I feel that life should be better. I dont enjoy working in the corporate world, its a dog eat dog world. Working is not my passion, but what really keeps me going is the people, the environment, the responsibility and the empowerment. Give me room and space, and i will ace. Give me one whole set of dos and donts, and you see not being able to perform my best.

Just some random update, i took out my wisdom tooth.
It hurts. Damn much. Fever. Pain. Cant eat. Cant laugh. Cant talk properly. What else?
There are stitches and i am so so afraid the wound will open.
Agony!

Look at the amount of medication i need to take.

Just a few days back, i had some argument with a person.
He told me he woundnt blame his future children should one day his children wouldnt want to take care of him when he aged. His reasons being that, Singapore is a very stressful country and he can understand it is hard to even support a family. So he dont mind if his children dont give him money/ take care of him when he fall ill and bla bla, as long as the children visit him is cool enough.

RUBBISH. I say that right into his face. If thats the value he is going to instill into his own family, i would say he is a total failure. Unfit to be a father. Really.

He has this kind of mentality because, in my opinion, he is doing this to his parents now. Which i find, totally unacceptable.

Suddenly, i dont feel like typing anymore. Well, this person gives me a feeling that, he is not a good person. The respect level dropped.

2008-07-18T11:56:00.002+08:00

what?

the inner voice within tells me something is wrong.

what is life?

Work. Becomes the centre of my life now.

Slog.

Since when li juan become such a difficult person?
I want the kindness back into me.

2008-07-11T21:21:00.002+08:00

Confuse

again.

2008-07-07T20:44:00.002+08:00

I guess I already know what i want.

(:

I know that things happened for a reason.

And i know through tests do we know our weakness and strength in life.

I saw mine. The risk isn't worth taking. I listen to God and my heart.

There are no short-cuts in life they say, everything that is built on foundation and the years of fine tuning is stronger.

Now the problem is, how to make known? without offending the party.

2008-07-03T22:35:00.003+08:00

There are alot of things in my mind.

People always say changes are good in your life.

I just wonder if mine will be for the better.

Is it wrong to strive for what i want in life? e.g. money, good career, personal development.. etc.

I am tired. Tired of being dislike by people for performing.

But its just me. I love pushing myself to the limits. I love recognition in life.

Is that wrong?

Been very busy these few weeks, friends around me if you felt I've gone quiet on you, i am really sorry. These few years will be crucial years for me. I need to get my life on track. I need to secure a stable job, stable national status and stable income. I really dont mean to forsake my friends.

I hope you can be understanding, friendships are equally important in my life too, i assure you.

People says i am being too ambitions. Yes i am.

Its just me.

And

Because i need to survive in this cruel society.

2008-06-29T03:15:00.000+08:00

why cant we just have a balance in life.

why are we always being put to the test.

control myself i said,

but my heart betrayed me.

2008-06-26T23:04:00.006+08:00

Its Beifen Birthday!

Well, its a very special celebration.

I dont think she will ever forget this. We brought her flowers, but the delivery man dont just deliver flower! He sings too! It is called the surprised delivery. Very innovative huh! Check out their website, they are from the Olive3. http://www.theolive3.com/

I really hope she enjoy her birthday today. Look, she ran to the toilet halfway! Haha.

When i called her out from her office she was so stunt to see the whole of company standing at the reception area, and tried to turn back. She was also so surprise to see this lady (from the Olive3) handing her the flowers, and you should see the look of her face! Haha, hilarious! She just stand there dont know what to do when the guy (from Olive3) started singing to her.

Imagine her horror! I totally can understand your embarrassment! But thats the whole point, for you to remember this day! And also your this friend.

Alright, i going to take a shower and sleep soon. Someone is on leave tomorrow, and i need to come in, in the morning.

*have some problem uploading the video, go to http://youtube.com/watch?v=BaPDrxxkvZg to watch.

2008-06-26T00:25:00.003+08:00

Its Fen's birthday!

Cant wait to go to work later. Its going to be an exciting day!

Wont elaborate more now, i know she will be reading my blog. Next entry! HEEHEE

Wilson brought a perfume for me. The smell is a tad too feminine for me though, nevertheless, still love it. Hearts! <3 Thank you for the surprise!

head in a whirl

should i take a step back

and risk losing

dilemma

please lock my heart away

2008-06-24T00:49:00.002+08:00

To a someone,

After what you have shared with me, i felt that actually life is full of regrets.
You also taught me the meaning and importance of love.
You taught me money is not everything.

Though its just that short time frame of conversation with you.
I felt that we have spoken many time before.
Thank you for guiding me through.

I just hope that you can move on with life.
Open up your heart.
I will cheer you on. (:

2008-06-19T14:06:00.003+08:00

Not feeling my best.

Define 'friends' please.

Your are the problem or me?

I cant find anything wrong with me, you started the formality between us.

I felt unfair.

Please enlighten me.

2008-06-17T16:10:00.003+08:00

OK.

So now, the motivational talk by my boss trigger me, yet again. I have heard thousands and thousands of motivational talks and this is really different.

Suddenly i just realised how the previous of thousands and thousands of motivational talks have shaped my life and my thoughts for the future.

I've read alot of self motivational books, rich dad poor dad, parable of the pipeline and many more (just to name a few), i have the concept but lack the platform. Damn.

Dont tell me i am still young, can try more jobs, different type of line and bla bla.

I'm hungry for success, at a young age. Yes.

Dont tell me i am being unrealistic too. Thats my dream.

Do you have one?

My boss is my idol. (:

2008-06-16T22:30:00.002+08:00

So damn pissed after reading an entry posted by my friend. Yes i know blogs are meant for people to vent their anger/frustrations/happiness/sadness, whatever, but i just cant help it but feel pissed.

I wont want to elaborate what, how and why. Sure no need to be friend after that. Just felt unfair. Really. And dont bother asking me who.

Found a job, introduced by a close friend. The staffs there are super friendly, reminds me of the time i worked in Sentosa. Really pray, hope, cross fingers/toes that no no politics or things like people dislike me, green eye or for whatever reasons la.

I come here to work, with no other intentions. I am trying to be nice to everybody and i do not want any enemies. Please huh God, 'do not bring us to the test, but deliver us from evil'.

Right, good night people!

EUGENE ANG, I WANT MY PSP SLIM!

2008-06-10T00:08:00.009+08:00

Sunday, went to intercontinental hotel for buffet. One of my relative's baby girl's full month.

This cute little girl, she's my 2nd uncle's son's daughter. Haha. Cute right?

First attempt. Never look at camera.

Second attempt, she posed the 7 sign. haha

Was also my cousin's birthday yesterday. Went to eat steamboat at bugis area.

Today, brought her to sentosa cafe del mar.

This stupid bugger from ACS irritated us to the core.

First he speak in some stupid slang with his friends.

Second, he started singing this stupid line 'baby come back' on the tram.

Third, i just dont like his look.

2008-06-07T14:17:00.005+08:00

We are okay now. Heehee.

I went jogging at pierce reservoir on Thursday! And having muscle aches now.

Last night went out with wilson, his friends, my friends for bike outing. And guess what. My tummy giving problem, half the time i was squatting down holding on to my tummy. Indigestion i think. I can feel the food moving down in my left intestine la! And its damn painful.

I totally cannot stand up straight, have to bend my body while walking.

Went to Changi Village and Loyang as Wilson's friend want to pray.

Wilson's, Ken's and Leon's

Wilson's

Indigestion is okay now. ((:

2008-06-05T00:51:00.002+08:00

So he thought by ignoring me can show how angry he is.

I dont give a damn if you are going to ignore me, lets see if who can give the silent treatment longer. Damn you.

Its not even fucking my fault. You didnt hear my sms, you blame it on me for not calling you instead. Go fuck your dog, really.

You dont have to ignore me to remind me how lonely i am already. I'm not like you, who have parents and your dog by your side. Look here, i am jobless. I have nothing now but time and you want to make a big fuss that i am spending the TIME out with my friends.

I dont feel like seeing you, it make me stress x1000 because you remind me of happiness.
But i cant do anything to buy that happiness because i'm so lost now.

Yes i am sensitive, i am a bitch but i am fucking pissed at you now.
I'm your girlfriend yes but you have the means tie me down now, marry me!

Damn.

I was trying to be nice and call you after that, you didnt even want to pick up my call and a fucking sms say 'sleeping' and you can throw all this fucking issue out of the window. Might as well add, 'i dont wish to talk to you/ dont call me'

I'm tired. Tired of being strong. Too strong in fact.

All those smiles for you, you think its easy? You know how lost i am these few days? You fucking know that?

Nah.

I bet you dont.

You're not feeling any better i know.

I feel useless.

2008-05-19T23:33:00.002+08:00

Sorry friends if i did not reply any messages or answer any phone call.

Not that i am giving attitude or what-so-ever.

I have my reasons, and i am going through rough time now.

Please pray for me.

Going back to Bangkok later, 7.10am flight. Last minute decisions.

Good Bye.

2008-05-14T20:57:00.008+08:00

Hi there. I am okay, just feeling out of place. You know how it is like to be at this age, you're at a stage whereby you do not know if this is the path you should take. If life is like a roller coaster like what people said, i would be thrilled. But ironically, the experience is so unlike of that of the roller coaster ride. You dont get the adrenaline rush from ups and downs in life, damn, you get heart attack instead.

To the man who thought that i have no direction in life, dont know what i want in life, i just want to clarify that i do have a dream and the dream that i have cannot be achieve in working in your company.

I left the company.

Of course not because of the no direction in life issue.

Something which i cant explain myself too. Because i dont know what is wrong too. Why leave you might ask, roles and responsibilities for my job scoope is not clear and explained properly when i first join. Thus, result in alot of miscommunication and job not properly done.

Learnt my lesson.

Always know your roles at work, before you start any job.

Anyway, going for another interview at the end of month for the position sales and marketing. Please pray for me that they are willing to employ me.

I have yet to introduce Buddy! The adopted friend!

Super cute right and he have alot of toys! I keep buying and buying. And he have this habit of putting at least 3 of his toys around him before his bedtime and sleep with it. Haha.

We always make it a point to bring Buddy out every weekend.

Wilson brought R1, dont ask me why. Ask him. Come, show you guys. Can be model la hor? Haha.

Alright, next entry bangkok post!

2008-05-07T12:43:00.002+08:00

Hi Readers, lets pretend there are few thousand of people reading my blog ok?. HAHA.

A quick post while i wait for the photos to be uploaded into photobucket. I am at Bangkok now but will be leaving for Singapore soon, so here i am at one of the LAN shop to upload photos.

One week here is definitely not enough. Had so much fun here.

Eat,

Shop,

Club,

and of course spending time with family.

Damn, time passes so fast. Dead going back to Singapore.

Alright my photos are done. See you readers when i am back to Singapore.

*And you Eugene, dont call me when i am in overseas. Waste my money picking up your calls! YOU. Haha

2008-04-25T13:00:00.002+08:00

FORMULA DRIFT THIS SUNDAY!

Grandstand seats!

Yay-ness!

2008-04-19T00:03:00.006+08:00

How sad to know that such parents exist in this world. The mother left the family and disappeared, the father wanted to get rid of his daughters and pledged a complete stranger to take care of them.

How crude?

I hate such irresponsible parents. So what the couples are young? They know how to make love, but cant even take the bloody responsibility of the end result?

What a child wants is just a sense of belonging, love, care and concern from the parents. Next, environment plays a big big role in their growing stage. No wonder juvenile delinquency is on the rise, dont tell me they are beyond parental control, its plain excuse to me. They are being labelled as juvenile for a reason.

Think back the times when we were just a juvenile? Do you feel stupid to even think back of the things you did back then? And obviously regret it? Everybody does! What am i trying to prove? They are not in the right maturity state to make decisions for themselves and normally, the path they choose to take is going to land them in some kind of trouble, so please, the child maker be responsible and nurture them for goodness sake.

************************************************

I am being separated from mum since 7 years old because of my studies and sometimes i do hate her for making this decision. I feel that my life is lacking of something and i am constantly unhappy and depress.

My growning years were a painful one but, I am proud to say the pain make me to become a stronger person. I am lucky that though i did fall into bad company but my determination not to get influenced is there. I did not join gang, smoke, drink, do drugs, have casual sex like friends around me.

Chastity.

Well, i did try to smoke, few months back though BUT not in the influence of peer. I dont see the pleasure of smoking, and they make me sick. Serious headache, cold sweat and ulcer. Damn, How you people enjoy smoking? And i totally agree with mei fang, smokers are a huge turn off.

I have a girlfriend, she used to smoke alot, go clubbing and have fun. But, ever since she found out she was pregnant she tried her best to quit the habit of smoking and she did it. Not only for the babies but for herself as well.

I totally respect her, she is a very strong willed woman though she is from a broken family herself. But she strive to give the best to her daughters, I never see such dedication from other young mummy before. She handle her daughters' life very well, take care of every details of their life from A to Z.

No other woman like her, really.

Girlfriend, although we rarely catch up with each other, i want you to know that theres a little space in my heart and mind reserved just for you. We are too caught up with our own life but i never forget to whisper a little prayer for you and your love ones every night.

Cheers to our friendship! Loves!

Edited: Photos up next post. Promise. (:

2008-04-18T00:17:00.009+08:00

Brought Buddy to pierce reservoir last 2 weeks ago. Oh ya, forget to update we got a new dog, yes adopted. Buddy is his name and he has only one ear, the right side of the ear was bitten off by his mum when he was born.

He is loved by everybody! Simply too adorable. Yummy!

And and and, he knows how to shake hand, stand up, walk on 2 legs and i am teaching him more! Of course he did that because he knows i will be giving him treat, greedy dog huh.

Today is also my uncle's birthday. Went to East Coast park to eat seafood, damn delicious. Photos will be up next post. Lazy upload now.

GOOD NIGHT EARTHLING! *wink!

OH, before i go. I just brought the newly launched Pure White Set by Artistry! Yes, my face is infested with pimple scars, dont yuck me yet. Give me a few more months! Presenting the new Artistry Pure White! Tadah!

Yay countdown to Bangkok trip!

12 MORE DAYS TO GO. WOOOOOOoo

2008-04-14T00:26:00.001+08:00

My internship ends on 31st of march and well, supposedly to go back to work on the 28th, 29th and 30th. As after clearing my leave and public holiday i still left with 3 working days.

At first, my last 3 days suppose to be on 29th, 30th and 31st, BUT, my mum flight is on 31st, i see no point in working on the last day and so I called up the workplace and changed my leave instead. I message my manager, Remi and asked what time he will leave the workplace, (he is always coming in to work late and going off early) so I will know what time to call him to discuss about the change of the leave.

And the stupid thing is, the jealous wife of the manager was holding on to his phone. And accuse him/me of having sweet romance behind this imaginative wife.

Dear wife, Remi is the most irresponsible man i ever met, he is not the quality man that I am looking for. I don't see the point of insecurity that you have, even if he is the last man on earth neither would I fall for him. *ROLL EYES many many times*

This is not the first time they quarrel over such trivial matter, and to make the matter worst, Remi actually scolded me for messaging him.

Like, what the fuck la, its your own bloody problem and push the blame to me for messaging you? Take care of your insane wife first la. Buay tahan.

So, this is the interesting part. I went to see doctor, and he gave me 3days MC. So, in another words, i don't have to go back to work, AT ALL. Happy not. On one hand, i hesitated. On another hand, bloody hell its time to pay back. To think of i become cow and horse for the department.

I think the message between the childish Fadli and me tells it all. Guys, you be the judge. The conversation is not being edited. Very intellectual leh!

Fadli: Hey Sue nice one! U planned everything so well. Thank you very much for doing this to us. It really shows what kind of person u are. Thanks n take care. Cheers!

(Aiya, i have many names la, they call me Sue because of my Thai name, Sue-kri-ang-krai Si-ra-pra-pha. Li Juan because its my Chinese name, Sonja because of my baptism name. And i didnt plan anything, everything just fall into place, God's grace.)

Me: You are welcome. (: but i know i'm not as bad as you cousins anyway. (: cheers too.

(Remi and Fadli are cousins and they are super afraid that people of the hotel will know. How i know then? Well, the previous Asst. Manager resigned and warned me about them being cunning. I asked why and he just replied 'They are connected' I didnt think much about it but still on my guard as i dont want to be sabotage by them in anyway. And guess what? Another new Asst Manager, Aidil join the stupid hotel and he confirmed my doubt. Remi and Fadli are cousins Aidil told me, Haha how interesting? I see the cousins so drama mama all the time! 'Oh you mean boss off today? Oh, boss haven come? Oh, oh, oh, oh your ass la Fadli.)

Me: Of so much i ever did, please keep in mind this is NOT the job that i want to do. Still, i give my very best. Oh i almost forget the things i did are not being appreciated. i wonder who is the cunning one? Do you wonder too? Sue? The cousins? Haha, oh wells, smile cousins! have a nice weekend ahead.

(They keep labeling me as trainee trainee, hello hotel, the proper term is "Intern". They gave me shit position, but i gave my best. Fair? Fuck you la HR director John Tan, having affair with another Indonesia intern doesnt prove that your manhood is still working. Its adultery you understand not John Tan? I wonder how your child is going to look up to you?)

Fadli: Cousins? I dont get u? Trying to make sumthing out of nothing? Haha i mean come on lah what wrong did i ever do to u? Did i ever do anything wrong to u? I cant think of any. Tell me coz i would really like to know.

(First, who is the one making something out of nothing? Who started this sms war? Any person of the right mind will want to defend one self so i replied back. But my sms are short and sweet because the conversation is getting really out of the point. I dont know what he is trying to prove? That he is really so good in acting? Or what?

Second, he did alot of things behind my back and he thought i dont know. There bond to be abit of politics at work place but place is horrible. I dont even bother to answer him the question that he posed, simply because he know best what he did to me.

Lastly, he is stupid)

Me: Acting skill still improving, not bad. You want me to elaborate? Uncle Remi?Alright i am busy. bye!

(Oh yar, Remi is his uncle as said by Aidil)

Fadli: Cousins? Tell me who? U heard from someone? Oh yar i also heard from someone that ur a freelance prostitute is that true? Pls lah do u have proof to defend ur statement? So stupid

(Still deny, please tell me who is the stupid one? Two people warned me about them, Two people told me they are connected. Without using brain to process before speaking, he said something about being prostitute, that's an insult to me. Unless being cousins is an insult to him, I've nothing to say.)

Me: Stop your acting. Its damn irritating. Good bye. See you when i come back to clear locker. Please smile for me.

Fadli: Oh thats why u always say i should know wat! When we talk bout boss. Haha gotnothing better to accuse me of issit. Get something better lah sue. Please get sumthing better next time if not dont waste time ok.

(Understand what is he trying to say? Who is accusing who? Who is suppose to get something better to do? He just slapped his own mouth.)

Me: Brush up your English. Thank you very much. Good bye, nice weekend ahead.

(I really dont feel like replying him, but my finger is damn itchy)

Fadli: Im not talking to a girl i want to impress so why should i use good english? Im just talking to a nobody who is a freaking thai who acts like a sporean girl haha hey look in the mirror ok. Ur just a thai ok.

(And if you realised, i did not insult him or use any harsh words on him because i still respect him as a friend and I do have my own set of 'freaking Thai' ethic in me to not insult people.I'm born in Thailand yes, but i grow up here, in Fadli's truly Singapore. I must be having serious problem if i dont behave like a Singaporean but a Thai instead. Fadli, you are a disgrace to Singapore, really.)

Me: Childish. Grow up. (:

(Really cant be bothered anymore)

Fadli: Childish? Eh u also have an affair wif the BnM guy isnt it? I almost forgot. The one who calls u all the time remember? And always looking for u in the gym. Pity ur bf lah.

(See, who is the one accusing and dig things to say instead? BnM is a lawyer firm and the guy is a member of the hotel gym, people like me and look for me means i must like back and have an affair? Who teach you this theory? Your ITE teacher ah? Ask my boyfriend he will tell you how stupid you really sounds)

Me: Thank you for your concern, for my boyfriend.

(I seriously want to end this, though i risk making him think i have an affair. But someone either me or him have to stop, and its unlikely to be him.)

Fadli: No worries. (:

(And he thought he won. Oh, so oh clever)

2008-04-10T12:15:00.003+08:00

New Job + New life + New beginning = New dilemma too.

I am smiling ear to ear now, because i am out from the damn hotel.

Will elaborate more next post, already have the draft but have not finished typing. Its going to be a long entry by the way.

Many many things happened. Mum already went back Bangkok. Started a new job. Going on company trip to Bangkok at the end of this month. *grin

Saving up for a flat, hopefully by then, the property market will not be so hot then. Keep fluctuating, so frustrating.

Alright, tata! next post will be up real soon. Abit of preview ya, its an entry about conversation with a very childish Malay guy who thought he is oh la la ahem, intellectual (He is far from it).

2008-03-22T21:29:00.002+08:00

I almost scared myself to dead.

Why?

The mirror reflection of me.

The totally shag, unglam and the unplucked/unkept eyebrows of me. And those pimples that I squeeze (YOU! itchy hand) left damn unsightly scars on my face.

MY FACE IS INFESTED WITH UGLY PIMPLES SCARS.

DAMN.

2008-03-21T21:41:00.002+08:00

Mum and little brother is in town from Bangkok.

But they went to Genting Highland this morning, i cant help it but feeling empty when i woke up to an empty room.

How am i suppose to be when they really leave me on 31th back to Bangkok?

I hate this feeling.

Dear Mum,
You know i love you though we drifted apart. You are still the important person in my life whom i look up to.
Nothing else matter anymore when i could just be with you.
I dont know if you feel the same as i do.

Mum,
There were many silent and teary nights for your daughter,
Because sometimes she can't really handle the cruel world
And
Nobody to turn to
Nobody to tell her there is still mummy by her side.

Mum,
I love you.

2008-03-10T20:06:00.003+08:00

Fucking cunt.

Irritating. I don’t care who is reading this but this is making me real mad. This is the first time ever that I work with so much unhappiness. Its either the company is really lousy with no proper training to the staffs or the staffs are just plain irresponsible and unprofessional for the whatever position they are holding.

Cunt.

Okay, the thing is staffs have to fulfill 8hours of work a day. And management staff doesn’t have overtime pay as their fucking pay is fixed, so does that means that you cant stay after 8 hours at work? I don’t fucking care if I am paid for the overtime that I worked, I don’t need the few dollars.

But I help and stay on if needed to, but do you ever appreciate that?

May I ask what is a schedule for when you as a big shot don’t follow what you have planned? For a show to the someone above you? How about us?

Do you think what you did is fair?

How irresponsible.

How to even respect you?

2008-02-29T10:31:00.002+08:00

I woke up today with a swollen right eye. What is the problem? And what the hell is happening to me? I drink at least 8 glasses of water a day okay, maybe not very well balanced diet because of the hotel food? But that doesn't mean you (my body) can fail on me!

I take my vitamins regularly and well, maybe not the full 8hours of sleep (who have that?) But why the swollen eye! Man, that is so, so ugly!

Wtf, so many hours to go! Started work at 6am, knocking off at 6pm. Not enjoying, no, no.

Dread.

Arrgh!

I want to REST!

Damn it.

2008-02-28T21:11:00.002+08:00

HI WORLD!

Juan is feeling terrible now. Shivering, cold sweat and feeling breathless. Doctor asked if i am too stressed and comment that i may fall sick soon. Oh, whatever. I feel so dead now. I am sleeping early tonight. Yes, believe it, i am sleeping at 10pm.

Attachment - exactly 1more month to go! Cant wait to end it.

I went out, i finally went out with Eddric and Jan! Wanted to go drangonfly at first, but ahem! Someone is underage. So, ended up wasted the valet parking fee of $5 and the normal carpark fee of $3 plus.

Damn.

So, we went to clark quey to have some drinks first before heading back home instead.

I dont smoke, just posing.

I was feeling disappointed. Cant go in. ):

Enjoyed myself alot. We'll go out again soon before Jan fly off okay? <3

Brought myself a new sport shoe, the old one was badly worn out. Nice right? 50% off.

GOODNIGHT WORLD! Juan took her medicine and is feeling drowsy.

I wish my mum is here to take of her sick daughter. ):

2008-02-22T20:15:00.005+08:00

Cheers to the clean bill of health for Mei Fang! Take your vitamins regularly and we’ll live to the ripe old age with the prefect health. HAHA.

Eh, my wisdom tooth is such a nuisance, now I cant eat on my left side, as my tooth will hurt. And the pain come and goes. See below, I want to gross you out. But I think my teeth are quite cute anyway.

The extraction is 500 buck leh, wa lao, golden tooth meh. Anyone want to sponsor me?

Work

Have been taking my life away by half.
The shift work makes me look older by 10 over years.

And sometimes, having a bit of FnB experience is a wrong thing.
I am supposed to attach to gym and now I am being split into half, one soul at the gym, another at pool garden.

Oh, I forget they didn’t realize I only have 1 soul.

This in turn, take away perhaps say, 5 years of my life?

Work

I found a job, and will be joining the company by the end of my course and attachment.
However, been going there during my off day to learn things.
Therefore, working everyday.

Another 5 years.

Schoolwork

Have to complete an assignment and presentation by 28th of March.
Working on it now on top of my busy schedule and this take away another 10years of my life.

I am an old woman now.

Presenting the now me.

2008-02-18T21:03:00.004+08:00

Me: Good afternoon! You just arrived today?

Guest: *Nodding head. Er, yea. (In a funny accent)

Me: I see, how is your day so far?

Guest: Sorry? *Frown (Funny accent)

Me: How- is – your – day – so – far?

Guest: I don’t understand *Shakes head (Funny accent)

Me: You are Italian, madam?

Guest: Yea, yea. I am, this a, ay, Italian. *Smile (Funny accent)

Me: Oh! You have a nice day madam!

Guest: Yea. Yea. (Funny accent)

I felt stupid. Imagine asking someone how is she 2 times and she replied back I don’t understand what are you talking about.

Speaking of Italians, man, I am not bias against them but I had an issue with an Italian guy before. Doctorate graduate leh. And he like to pick on smart people like me, who is afraid that I might be smarter than him and used his authority as a lecturer to make me stupid. I wont elaborate what he did to make me stupid. He is inferior so I thought. Stick tongue out to you doctorate graduate.

**************************

Hey hey, this incident happened when I was still working in Sentosa few years back. I know its not linked but its superb funny!

Korean visitor: (holding on to a English translation book) Hai, How do youu, ‘escape’ out from Sentosa?

Me: Trying not to laugh

My Manager: You can take this bus, bla bla bla

Me: HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

My Manager: Stop laughing, how can you be so bad.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Escape! HAHAHAHAHA. Why you lock him up in Sentosa?

My Manager: HAHAHAHAHAH!

One more.

I was working in banqueting also and
There was this guy from Sri Lanka, and we named him caveman.

We were having ice cream and he disappear.
He came back with his ice cream MELTED.

Me: Why so watery?

Caveman: I put hot water.

Me: Huh? Why?

Caveman: So hard so cold how to eat?

ME and the rest: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2008-02-17T20:25:00.000+08:00

Sense the insecurity?

Being a lady is never easy I guess. I wish I could be as simple like a guy.

And no, they don’t have mood swing. They don’t crave for attention or for affection.
Lastly, they don’t need the repetitious assurance of love.

2008-02-15T16:29:00.003+08:00

Happy Valentine’s Day.

I know I am a day late but love is still in the air right?

Those who are single who says Valentine’s Day is only for couple? Smile, pretty. It’s for everybody! (:

Had lunch at wild rocket at mount Emily on the 12th. Disappointed at the service level for a fine dinning restaurant. The food was so so despite the good reviews I read about them at hungrygowhere.com

Lawyer turned chef, and he is being featured in Cleo magazine: the most eligible bachelor. Uh huh, but whatever.

Ordered one black pepper softshell crab, 1 laksa pasta, 1 crabmeat pasta and one dessert. Total amount, over 80 buck.

I know its quality food not quantity. But to me, totally not value for money.
I think I will just stick to hawker food next time. I don’t see why I need to crack my brain juice to search high and low for nice location and good food and end up being disappointed.

Maybe a poor peasant trying to act high class will get this post dinning syndrome.

Brought Braun Buffel wallet for Wilson.

This design nice?

Nothing spectacular happened on Valentine’s Day. I don’t believe in romancing only on this day but however, being a female (yes, sadly) I’d really love something special.

Contradicting huh.

2008-02-10T17:35:00.001+08:00

Working, yes. Oh wells, pity me.

2008-02-08T09:43:00.000+08:00

Can you believe it? Almost the whole hotel guests came down and use the pool facility yesterday? And guess how busy were we? All the deck chairs were already taken up; some used the towels and lay on the floor and grass patches. What is wrong with this people? Endless food order, endless drinks and cocktails order. And the worst thing is that we have to pick up food from basement 1 when our pool is at level 5.

Complaints and complaints of the waiting time for food despite the warning given before hand. I wish I could speed things up for you damn guests, but the problem is I cant. So please shut your foul mouth, it stinks.

It was first day of Chinese New Year my dear guest and because of you, guest, I stayed on to helped out. But, I didn’t complain. So why the fuss on your side?

Hey people, you know what was the funniest thing? This ang mo actually thought he is so great. When I am being put to be in charge of the bar, means I know my stuffs. And you don’t have to be nosy to keep telling me what goes into a cocktail. You doubt my experience, then don’t drink.

I really don’t understand them, the pool is FULL (and I mean really full) of people and they still want to flock in. Some just sit down on a chair, under shade and merely read a book, I mean cant you do that in your room?

Conclusion: Caucasians like crowds. Picture them packed in the sardine can.

2008-02-08T07:45:00.000+08:00

Marriage (Part I )

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it.

Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said: "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"

"Yeah?" she replies.

"When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!" (HE ASKED FOR IT!)

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!"

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. ! Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Moral of the story is that men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Well, God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. Haha!

2008-02-07T08:15:00.000+08:00

Happy Lunar New Year.

And I am working on the first day of New Year. Applause please, thank you very much.

Other than collecting red packets, I find no meaning in celebrating CNY. Don’t ask me why, and I dread going visiting.

(:

Good day!

My hanna tattoo! haha.

2008-02-05T07:03:00.000+08:00

I got this funny story through an email from friend, so i thought of sharing with everyone. Hope your day is filled with laughter and fun. However, there is also a lesson to be learn from this story. Haha.

Here it goes:

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,but she belonged to someone else.

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO. Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend. So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down. "So she agrees and accepts the proposal.

Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.

She responded, "The bastard used coins!"

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

2008-02-03T08:08:00.000+08:00

Dear Kaele,

Where are you now?
Are you there at the side of Rainbow Bridge playing with other dogs?
People say you will be at this place when you leave us,
Where there are food, water and warm spring weather.
Will you be thinking of us?

I am surprised.
Surprised at the depth of my grief.
For, I am not an animal person.

I still remember the times I brought you out for a walk
And
I still remember the times you slept beside me
When your usual companions were out.

I missed your welcoming bark and the waging of tail
And the usual begs for treats.
I used to afraid to touch your saliva,
And put the treat on the floor instead.
I am glad that I have learnt
To treat you as my own
And allow you to eat from my hand

I remember I carried you on my lap
Before the day you were hospitalised
I wished I could carry you
A little longer
A little more

My dear girl, tell me what should I do?
I need to be strong for Kor kor
But I can’t do it
You know
I am not good in pressing emotions

Kaele, please let me know you are doing fine
Please give me a sign.
I will be praying for you
Every single night

Awaiting…
For you

We’ll meet again.

2008-01-31T21:34:00.000+08:00

Eugene ang is so random. I guess he is too bored after his test. He is such a good friend indeed.

Anyway.

Looking forward to sunday! I am on morning shift and that means I can spent quality time with Wilson after i knock off! Finally. (:

2008-01-30T18:36:00.000+08:00

Went to gym yesterday, finally I did cardio training! Been doing a lot of resistance training at work place but never the chance for cardio because I don’t feel like sweating. Wanted to tan at first but weather is not very good. ):

Went to see Kaele after Wilson knocked off, no news of improvement from the veterinarian. But I really hope Kaele will be well again.

Yesterday Wilson held my hand for the first time, with his family members around. I was on the clouds and my heart was beating so hard. I felt so loved. He normally will not hold my hand and will let go of my hand when his family members are around. And the walk to his vehicle, with him holding my hand seems so beautiful. I was so happy that I forgot to bid his family goodbye.

I am a happy girl.

I want to hold your hand no matter how tough the road is for us.

I want to hold your hand till our hair turns grey.

2008-01-28T23:35:00.000+08:00

As usual, was late for work. Took a cab again.

Dreamt of dad, whenever I dream of him, it is always him scolding me. Lecturing me about this guy I used to go out with. Ask me about this guy, I can tell you that I totally forget how is it like to be in a relationship with him. He is the past, a very faded past of my life. Anyhow.

So, called up my dad to see how he is doing. Been a month since I last talked to him I suppose. Before we hang up, he asked to meet up for dinner one day. I almost tear. It reminds me how distant our relationship is. I hate this feeling.

Wilson’s dog, Kaele is sick and is being hospitalised. Went to see her just now and was being told that her kidney has failed. I am not into dogs but kaele is different. I used to think that peole who cry over lost of dog is mad. Now i finally know the feeling. I miss her, and i want her to get well. I cant stop crying, i dont know why.

This is taken when she is already sick.

I really hope she will get well.

It hurts me to see her this way.

2008-01-27T06:59:00.000+08:00

Does age matters? To me, to a certain extend. But what amuses me is the way people will react when they get to know your real age. I always keep my age a mystery, because I don’t like prejudice. If you feel that you usually don’t act like the people at your age, you will get what I mean by prejudice. And I can’t deny that I have the inexperience side of me, I am eager to learn. I want to be successful, at a young age.

Face the reality, I always remind myself. Sometimes I can’t. The past still hunt me but I am trying, trying to move on. I know the responsibility that put on me to grow and mature is greater than anyone else around my age, because I am pretty much left alone to tend to my own needs. I can’t just stretch out my hand when I am short of money, and I can’t just throw my temper at home when I had a bad day outside.

I know God is fair; life will be much better and going to be great. (:

Cheers to this beautiful Sunday!

2008-01-26T01:01:00.000+08:00

Today wasn't a good day for me, especially the start of the day. I woke up late, 12pm. But i can be just in time for work (by MRT) if i hurry. So, I showered, changed and swallow down my lunch so that i can catch the 138 bus to AMK station at 12:50pm. The damn bus was late, ended up taking cab from amk hub to my work place, ah neh cab somemore. The smell is horrible.

I could have taken my own sweet time at home preparing myself and eat slowly.

Random Photos at work.

Didnt know Jay Chou's chinese name is spelt this way. Saw him in person, not as handsome as i thought though.

I know i look stupid, dont laugh.

Jan

Eddic and me.

I seriously look so hideous. I hate shift work, they make you look 10years older and ugly.