you're a mystery yourself

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

11:26 PM

Getting sick. Flu and cough.

My manager passed the virus to me.

And the office is super cold.

Last Sunday, went to leon's 2nd baby first month. Isnt she cute? With loads of hair. Haha

&the beauty.

11:25 PM

could you look into my eyes?

and tell me that you are happy.

&the beauty.

12:08 AM

To think back, i guess i have been working since back during school days.

Like, hey, i need some pocket money to survive. My allowance was only $50 per week years back, yes can you imagine that?

I am tired of living sometimes. I feel that life should be better. I dont enjoy working in the corporate world, its a dog eat dog world. Working is not my passion, but what really keeps me going is the people, the environment, the responsibility and the empowerment. Give me room and space, and i will ace. Give me one whole set of dos and donts, and you see not being able to perform my best.

Just some random update, i took out my wisdom tooth.
It hurts. Damn much. Fever. Pain. Cant eat. Cant laugh. Cant talk properly. What else?
There are stitches and i am so so afraid the wound will open.
Agony!

Look at the amount of medication i need to take.

Just a few days back, i had some argument with a person.
He told me he woundnt blame his future children should one day his children wouldnt want to take care of him when he aged. His reasons being that, Singapore is a very stressful country and he can understand it is hard to even support a family. So he dont mind if his children dont give him money/ take care of him when he fall ill and bla bla, as long as the children visit him is cool enough.

RUBBISH. I say that right into his face. If thats the value he is going to instill into his own family, i would say he is a total failure. Unfit to be a father. Really.

He has this kind of mentality because, in my opinion, he is doing this to his parents now. Which i find, totally unacceptable.

Suddenly, i dont feel like typing anymore. Well, this person gives me a feeling that, he is not a good person. The respect level dropped.

&the beauty.

11:56 AM

what?

the inner voice within tells me something is wrong.

what is life?

Work. Becomes the centre of my life now.

Slog.

Since when li juan become such a difficult person?
I want the kindness back into me.

&the beauty.

9:21 PM

Confuse

again.

&the beauty.

8:44 PM

I guess I already know what i want.

(:

I know that things happened for a reason.

And i know through tests do we know our weakness and strength in life.

I saw mine. The risk isn't worth taking. I listen to God and my heart.

There are no short-cuts in life they say, everything that is built on foundation and the years of fine tuning is stronger.

Now the problem is, how to make known? without offending the party.

&the beauty.

10:35 PM

There are alot of things in my mind.

People always say changes are good in your life.

I just wonder if mine will be for the better.

Is it wrong to strive for what i want in life? e.g. money, good career, personal development.. etc.

I am tired. Tired of being dislike by people for performing.

But its just me. I love pushing myself to the limits. I love recognition in life.

Is that wrong?

Been very busy these few weeks, friends around me if you felt I've gone quiet on you, i am really sorry. These few years will be crucial years for me. I need to get my life on track. I need to secure a stable job, stable national status and stable income. I really dont mean to forsake my friends.

I hope you can be understanding, friendships are equally important in my life too, i assure you.

People says i am being too ambitions. Yes i am.

Its just me.

And

Because i need to survive in this cruel society.

&the beauty.

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